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[Oct. 31st, 2005|04:28 pm] |
I've finally decided to change my Journal settings to Friends Only. Do not despair, though, just let me know if you want to be added and why. Gabriel bless you. |
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[Oct. 16th, 2005|08:21 pm] |
Just arrived in Ljubljana half an hour ago. This time, my roomie and I arranged to meet on the train and travel together, since it's much less boring that way. Hell, 2h 40min on a train seem like an eternity when you have nothing to do. So I tried to keep myself busy by studying the book Progressive Witchcraft and chatting with my roomie.
Before I forget, a big thanks goes to Blaz from Kranj, who kindly offered me his headphones, because our speakers died the other day. So now I just turn up the volume to max, lay the headphones on the desk and listen to the music coming from them. It's not dolby surround, but it's better than no music at all.
I think S.G. is disappointed, because we don't keep in touch like we used to. I'm so sorry it didn't work out this weekend, but I was really busy with errands and studying for my first Japanese test. You must understand that I want to do well on my test. This is a totally new environment for me, new rules, new responsibilities, it will take some time to create a routine, my apprentice. I can't stress enough how sorry I am that this is tearing our friendship apart. Please be patient with me.
K., a friend from Uni, got thrown out of the student dormitory this Friday and since he has no apartment, he'll have to stay at a youth hostel for a while. I feel so sorry for him, everything is going wrong for him, he didn't deserve that. I offered my help with taking his stuff to the youth hostel and unpacking and he said that's fine. So I'll help him move tomorrow after classes. Then afterwards, he's coming round to our place to study (and ~perhaps~ get drunk). I'm so looking forward to seeing him again, mmm. I can't forget the conversation we had on Thursday... all the things you said on the phone, K. How can you mean it seriously when you have a girlfriend? |
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[Oct. 11th, 2005|10:12 pm] |
Just a quick update, because my roomie is already in bed, tired and sick. This week has been (so far) a lot easier than the previous one. I'm healthy again, cheerful and motivated for studying. Not sure how long this is gonna last, but.. meh... I'm enjoying it now.
Got my student food coupons, got a student ID, umm... I've already signed up for all my classes - seems like all the formal stuff is now approved at last. Absolutely, I'm now officially an university student, though still a newbie. But hey, classes so far are alright, so are the teachers, but most of all, of course my classmates. I spend a lot of time with Klemen. Before classes, during classes and after classes... and even later on. Yeah, A LOT of time.
I met two people from the internet today. The first one is a guy from Kranj, who was REALLY nice and helped me out when I was in trouble because of student food coupons. We walked all across town to get'em and then went on a coffee break, too. I hope to see him again soon.
The other person is the lovely Taria from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) wicked_tanya. During an MSN conversation, we realized that we live just a few blocks apart here in Ljubljana, so we arranged a date and I took the bus to her place. She's cute and very laid-back, I enjoyed chatting with her, but alas, we had to part soon as well, because she had to go home and learn for a test.
Other than that... Jude stopped contacting me. Brandon too. Only S.G. keeps in touch. Oh and M. said he had sent a letter to me the other day. Can't wait to get it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 6th, 2005|11:10 am] |
It seems that my sickness vanishes when I go out to take a deep breath of fresh air and chat with classmates to pass the time. It's probably psychological, I need to get distracted, to stop thinking about my dizziness and sickness.
Phew, finally managed to sign up for all the compulsory English classes, which are: Verb I, Phonetics I, Morphology I, English Poetry I and a couple of other classes that aren't necessarily compulsory, but it's recommended that you show up.
Japanese classes are fun so far, the teachers are also friendly, though the Japanese ones don't understand us (and vice versa) so we just nod politely or use sign language, hah!
There's still a few things I must sort out before going home this weekend. I need student food coupons and a student index, but since I don't know my way around here, I'll have to ask a senior student or a friend here to help me out.
K., my roomie and I went to see a japanese movie yesterday in one of those underground cinema places. The movie is called "Hana-bi" ("firework") by Kitano. It's rather.. uhh... different and shocking, a nice and welcome change after all that American rubbish you get to see in major movie theatres. We had a great time together, K. is funny and very laid-back. Also, he has no problems meeting new people - I see him every morning in the nearby café, drinking coffee with his female classmates. Apparently... he has a girlfriend, but please - why does he spend so much time with other girls when he's already taken? And why isn't she bitching about it? I mean, there's only SO much you can tolerate before exploding from jealousy. Or maybe he lied about his relationship. Who knows, he's a mystery to me, because whenever we ask him about his past, he makes something up, and when we ask him the same question at a later time, he tells us something completely different. I smell Interpol here.
Can't wait to go home tomorrow, I've had enough of Ljubljana for a while. Sadly, I'll have to go back on Sunday, sigh. I miss my bed and my mom's cuisine. And I miss my home town and normal bus routes and the accent we speak there.... and I miss Manuela and S.G. and RPing and not having to clean up the whole house. |
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[Oct. 4th, 2005|11:04 am] |
Wow, updating regularly is going to be harder than I thought. Even though I only have a few lessons this week (most of them start next week), I have hardly time to watch TV, browse the internet or do anything else for fun. Household, studies and traffic jams keep you busy as hell, believe me.
Moving in went alright, Anja and I know where all the stuff is by now, but of course there are always some little things that can confuse one - where to leave a wet umbrella or dry wet clothes, etc. Yes, on that note - it's been raining ever since we moved in. That's about three days of constant rain and cool temperatures, it's freaking me out. There are a myriad different bus routes, the traffic jams here in Ljubljana seem to be a normal feature. Wake up, silly - you're in a huge city, the capital of Slovenia!
I was hoping that my classes would start next week, but unfortunately only English classes start on Monday, Japanese (also my major) already started today. The professors are nice so far and it's true what all the senior japanese students say - freshmen year is crowded with gaijin, anime freaks and nerds, but at least they're nice and fun. One of the freshmen guys (let's call him K) is so wonderful, he's just my type of guy, I wonder if I could ask him out on a drink or something...
There's lotsa things I'll have to get used to it - like showing my monthly bus ticket to the driver instead of putting it in a stamp machine like we did in my uncivilized home town. Yeah and cooking would be one of the things I have to learn, too. So far, the two of us have only eaten instant food and now my stomach is all fucked up and I feel sick and grouchy, meh. Yeah the grouchy part comes from lack of sleep or rather insomnia. How convenient to struck me now, when I'm supposed to attend classes every day.
Should be enough of an update, I'm really not feeling well. If it doesn't stop raining soon, I'll freak out. |
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[Oct. 1st, 2005|01:14 pm] |
Countdown. I'm moving tomorrow at about 2pm or earlier. My mom is acting all moody like, she can't believe that her only child is moving out and starting her own life (well kind of, I'll still be coming home once in a while) and dad is complaining about all the useless stuff I want to take with me, because we won't be able to put it all in our car! Also, I wasn't able to avoid the mandatory "preaching" your parents hold when their kids leave to start their own life. So pathetic, I tell you, why should we pretend we're a loving family when we're not, all we do is fight. I wasn't able to fix that when there was still time to do so, and now it's too late because I'm going buhbye. But who knows, some time apart might do wonders.
I'm posting in forums and message boards, on irc channels and messengers, that I might not be online for a while, it depends on the guy who's supposed to fix our internet connection at the new apartment. In the worst case, I'll be back online next weekend - yes, I'll go home every weekend, at least the first semester, and then I'll reconsider it.
I was planning to say goodbye to all my friends and high school mates, who are staying here in this city, but they would just laugh and call me silly. "We'll see you every weekend, girl!" I don't think so, friends forget about friends if they don't spend enough time together. That's how it is. I guess I should be sad about it, but really, I'm not. It's one of life's lessons.
My RP friends were so nice and encouraging when I was bitching about starting Uni. Thanks Bart and James and Dorcey and everyone else, who had a nice word and smiley in store for me. Thanks Jude for giving me this wonderful feeling of butterflies in my stomach and for messing with my heartbeat - I'll make sure to keep in contact with you. But most of all, thanks to S.G., who made these longest summer holidays so nice, who reminded me I shouldn't waver in my path of prophecy and who is more than a friend - a soulmate. We're quite different, yes, but we think alike, we complete each other and together we can take on any obstacle in our way. What started with the worst fight and loathing ever, turned into a wonderful friendship. And you know why? Because exactly that fight was a trial for us, it was God's way of testing me... testing us. Forgiving is so hard, saying sorry doesn't slip easily off the tongue and making the first step makes us seem weak and inferior, doesn it? Wrong, it shows a brave and loving character,it is the greatest gift the human heart possesses.
Now, I'll try to take dad's digital camera with me to take a few photos of the apartment and my roomie and me. Also, if you have any good mp3s, send them today, I want to burn 5gb of music to transfer to my new PC. Au revoir for a while. |
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[Sep. 24th, 2005|01:54 pm] |
Linzer Eye cookies, my favorite
Got my teeth checked the other day (it was on my "To do" list, remember?) and to my surprise, the dentist only fixed a minor problem. I thought she'd be bitching about me eating too much sweets and all that, but she was nice and patient with me (even during the drilling process, ouch). So the only thing I have to do now before Uni starts, is get my eyes checked. Since S.G. is coming home tomorrow, I'll ask him to escort me next week and finally get it done. It's not because of my agoraphobia, but it's just less boring to have company in the waiting room.
Dad bought that new PC I'm taking to my new apartment. I admit, I was bitching about not having any kind of internet connection when I move and I desperately tried to justify it with statements like "but I'll need it for essays and assignments!" when really, I'm just a huge internet addict and don't want to miss out a roleplay session on IRC. However, my whining seemed to have worked, so now I have a brand new PC (not the best one out there, but hell it's more than enough for what I need) to take with me. I sent my roomie a text message to convey the great news, but she hasn't replied yet. Anyway, her dad is coming around tomorrow so we can split the bill for the PC. Yep, that was the deal - me and my roomie are both gonna use the PC so it's only fair to split the expenses.
I got a letter from Uni today, they're informing me about the "newcomers party" they're throwing for all the freshman year students. This is, of course, just the 'official gathering' to get to know each other and all that, I'm sure we'll have an after party without any authority supervision later on.
There's still so many things I need to buy and then immediately start packing. I'm quite excited, yes, it might sound silly but I think it's about time I became independent (dear God, I actually had to retype that word about five times, I can't even spell independent, how ironic). The song that's playing right now on Winamp is Supergrass - St. Petersburg and it's setting the perfect mood for my brooding. Soon I'll be on my own, it's quite a funny feeling. It just happened so suddenly and I'm still so unprepared - I don't know how to use a washing machine, I can't cook and I despise cleaning up. What if my agoraphobia should kick in this winter? It always seems the worst in winter. And if I get into a fight with my roomie? Am I supposed to stop being single now or what? Questions, questions, but in the end, we all have to go through it. I'll survive. |
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[Sep. 20th, 2005|10:33 pm] |
Tina(left) and me(right) fooling around with the webcam
I've had a great day and hell I've been needing one desperately in this chain of bad days. A friend of mine, who used to attend Art History in high school together with me, phoned me and asked if I wanted to meet up with her to kill some time. Sure! You see, she's one of the 3% female population who can (proudly) call themselves Gamer Chick!. Hanging out with her is so refreshing, a welcome change to the endless debate about cosmetics and other girly stuff you have to put up with 97% of girls. She's into RPGs, video games, video consoles, even comics and metal music. Yet she's not a nerdy someone who locks herself up in her room and acts all smartass and untouchable-like.
She gave me a lift to her place where I conquered her PS2 console like a freak and drooled over FFX for about two hours, until I figured it would be only fair to be polite in return and offered her to come to my place to see what kind of 'OMG' stuff I have to offer (not in a sexual way, pervs). We checked out my movie collection and eventually agreed on The Machinist (it's a MUST SEE movie, highly recommended). Afterwards I suggested we take some pics with my webcam, so we ended up fooling around with it for a good half an hour, before she had to leave to go pick up her mom.
Pity she's staying here, while I have to move to Ljubljana to attend Uni. I'll have to make sure we stay in touch somehow, even if merely online.
So, I wrote a TO-DO list a week ago...
- Get my ID done ((checked))
- Enroll in a hebrew language course ((the suckers won't answer my phone calls))
- Go see a dentist ((hell, no, I don't want to!))
- Get my eyes checked & get new glasses ((m'kay... tomorrow?))
Countdown until Uni starts --> 13 days |
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[Sep. 17th, 2005|12:34 am] |
He called.
We talked for at least an hour straight.
And he said he loved me.
And I didn't know what to say.
He found the ring I had sent him.
And something about Vegas and a $5 wedding ceremony.
The hand that was holding the phone so long got all numb after a while.
I giggled most of the time.
How come he still remembers me?
I conquered his dreams a few nights in a row, he said.
Can we go back to how things used to be?
Can we just turn back time?
As if nothing ever happened? |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 15th, 2005|09:09 pm] |
You little troublemaker...
Today was a really bad day. Biorhythm or destiny? Who knows, but I can't wait to go to bed and end this day.
It all started last night, when some giant insect made its way through the open window into my room. It was buzzing right next to my ear and annoying the shit out of me for at least a few hours, before I finally decided to turn on the light and chase the fucker out of my room. As I turned the light on, though, I saw this huge spider-insect with little wings, ugh. I wasn't able to kill it, so I grabbed my pillow and blanket and emigrated into the living room, where I slept the rest of the night.
Later that morning, Sara phoned me to set an appointment, since she owed me quite some money. She seemed rather annoyed on the phone, so she wouldn't even tell me what bus to take to get to her place or when exactly the bus arrives. So I phoned S.G. to come pick me up and give me a lift to the piercing parlor, where I had a new hoop inserted and retrieved the money from Sara, before she buzzed off again. Anyway, back to the piercing part - the woman who works in the piercing studio wasn't gentle at all when she tried inserting a dozen different hoops in my sore lip, I think the wound even opened again and bled a little. So here I am now, with a new piercing, that's not really a hoop as I wanted, but rather a moon shaped thingy with two little balls on each side. Apparently, I can't wear a real hoop because it hits my lower row of teeth and would damage them or something. There goes my big wish of having a nice piercing like Sara... I'll have to settle with this, I guess. Gawd, it's so sore and the piercing feels kind of too tight, I really don't want to go through that healing stage again.
S.G. was so nice to take some time off and cheer me up after we'd left the piercing parlor. We drove to his place where we exchanged our "good-bye presents", since we're parting to go to Uni. I gave him the first book of the Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy series, signed with a quote by Edna St.Vincent Millay. His present for me was a 2m big poster of Jerusalem as seen from a plane above. He remembered that one time I saw the poster in his room and almost swooned. One can't get enough of Jerusalem, it's the city where all your wishes come true.
Anyway, we went for a walk in the forest afterwards and talked about G-d and the universe. It was really nice, we laugh about the same things and pretty much understand the wishes and fears of each other. I can admit anything, he won't find it stupid or silly (ok, he might joke about it, but that's just to make me smile, thanks).
The scenario from two weeks ago repeated itself today. My parents freaked out when they saw the piercing and tried to convince me to take it out again. When I asked mom why she thinks a simple piercing would ruin my life (yeah, her words), she couldn't even justify it. They think I'm becoming rebellious or something... I really have no clue, but this guilt trip they're giving me does, indeed, work on me. I've never been on such bad terms with them, it frightens me, because I really don't have anyone except my parents to trust and love unconditionally. Why can't we fix that somehow? Oh G-d, please give us all a nudge and let us forget about our huge ego - we have to settle this argument before I move out, or I can just forget about it.
Right now there's one and only one question occupying my thoughts and absorbing my cheerfulness. Is the piercing worth all this trouble? My ego screams out YES, but a little, barely audible voice inside my mind mutters a little -no-.
I've only noticed now, when I took a second look at the poster on my wall.... there are clouds over Jerusalem. |
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[Sep. 11th, 2005|06:19 pm] |
I was cleaning up this mess in my room today - closet, glass cabinet, bookshelves... It's pretty, shiny and tidy again. Funny, every time I start cleaning my room I do it in a rather reluctant manner, but after a few minutes I really get cracking and arrange everything by color, alphabetical order and size. It looks really neat now.
While I was sorting out the rubbish that has accumulated on my shelves through the years, I found my old diaries, old pictures, cards I received for my previous birthdays, an engagement ring and lots of other weird shit. So I thought I'd share with you. Because I have no life.
Incense that's supposed to bring out the fire of passion between two people. Yep, the fire part they got right. I almost burnt my room when the incense holder keeled over. Also, I'm single.
What's wrong with this fuzzy teddy, you ask? Well, it's a Trudi teddybear, those are fucking expensive. Who gave it to me? On what occassion? I'm dying to know! Until then, the bear is gonna hang on my curtains.
My engagment ring from three years ago. It's a lovely silver ring (he remembered I hated gold) with something engraved on the inner side. It says "Zutto Isshoni Itai". It's Japanese and means "I wish we could stay together forever". We didn't.
A gay GameBoy diskette. "Rescue princess Blobbette" or something. It's a game from the series "A boy and his (lameass) blob". This is ancient.
And old school pic. I think I was 10. Note the guy in the middle in the front row.
Ta-da! Best for last. I couldn't stop laughing over this portable discman manual. Oh man... Rocket launching pad! |
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[Sep. 8th, 2005|11:23 am] |
I had a horrible nightmare tonight. Trisha stole Brandon and started a flame war between our RP group and hers and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. In the end, she took everything away from me, all my friends transferred to her side – James, Bart, Jude, Brandon. I really felt like crying out loud, because she enjoyed to torture me and see me fall down on my knees before her. What's worse, Brandon died in that dream and Trisha had the most theatrical speech I've ever seen at a funeral. It made me feel so sick and so alone. I just realized that I still miss Brandon. [TAKEN OUT]
Went to sleep at 3am yesterday, Robby laughed at me and called me a rebel for seizing the chance that my parents aren't home and stay up so late. Rebel with a cause, I'd say. Just didn't feel like going to bed when I could talk to Jude about everything. If I close my eyes I see his tall figure and a cigarette dangling between his lips. I see the green eyes that turn to me and I know he's a pessimist. The worst case of a pessimist – one that is also a realist and greedy bastard. I know his biggest fear, which might sound silly to someone, but it's not. I totally understand him. He's just so amazing, sophisticated and like a book you want to read; like a story you've always wanted to live and he is the chances you've had but never seized. He's the popstar you've dreamed about, but without the fame and bliss and groupies and posters. Seems unreachable, yet he allows me to reach out and caress the corners of his mouth into a smile. Funny, for the first time in my life I understand the line "and then I go and spoil it off by saying something stupid like I love you". |
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[Sep. 4th, 2005|11:35 pm] |
Belongs to the mysterious person called Amir - check it out
GOOD NEWS
- People keep calling me to drag me out. Hey, that's a welcome change if you consider my usual couch-potato attitude, heh. Maybe I shouldn't wait for people to call me out, I should call THEM. Anyway, S.G. phoned me yesterday around 4pm and asked me if I wanted to go with him to the theatre. I was like WTF, why are you asking me out to such a posh place, you know I don't fit into such places. It was only after he had explained that it was an award event for the best Matura students, that I agreed to go. I felt so special, because he only got three tickets to distribute, two of which he gave his parents (naturally) and the last one he saved for me. Let me tell you - my wardrobe is pretty much just casual black stuff, so I had a hard time picking something for a gala event, but I think I did okay. Afterwards, we both agreed to go out to MC (underground club), where we just sat in a gloomy corner and headbanged to the music. No redundant words. No crowd of people to annoy you... sometimes you really just want to fall into metal music ALONE. Or with a friend who shares your thoughts. As simple as that.
- I met someone today by randomly browsing Skype users with Manuela. His name is Amir, he's 22 and from Israel (woohoo, me). Have you ever had the feeling that it made CLICK between you and some other person instantly? Yes? Well, that happened to me today. And I don't mean no love stories or anything like that, god forbid. I just think we could become friends. He's one of those main characters in a story that you want to know in and out. By the way, that photo above there is his, please check his deviantart gallery. What I find amazing is that I'm able to see the emotions and creativity in his artwork, before knowing ANYTHING about him. Follow me? It's not like... uh... you know someone is a drug addict and when you get to see a modern piece of art by them, you KNOW what to see in it and how to interpret it. This time, it's the other way around, I see pieces of him and colors of his thoughts in those photos.
Hell... I don't even know the dude.
- Watched Rainman today for the XYZth time. How I love that movie... I wish someone phoned me and told me I have a brother/sister somewhere.
- Sabina is an idealist, she can't help it. Daydreaming and wishing for something more, without showing any real effort to get that particular coveted thing. Jude is a realist. He is a Sancho Pansa. They both like the windmills, but they don't know when the wind is going to change direction. But still, he makes her feel really good.
BAD NEWS
- Anja - my future roomie - said she'd come round to visit me. Well that's fine and okay with me, but apparently, I have to go pick her up at the train station at 8:30am. Sweet Jesus, girl, you can't invite yourself to someone's place at such an unearthly hour! Also, I know she's going to annoy the shit out of me with her talking. She's one of those people who couldn't shut the fuck up if their life depended on it. What am I supposed to do with her tomorrow? She's probably going to stay an hour or so and bitch about my notes until I finally give in (I hate being so kind all the time) and let her borrow them. Borrow = say bye bye to them, 'cos if they get in her hands, they're not meant to come back. What was I thinking when I asked her to be my roomie?
- My piercing. It still hurts. A lot. I also woke up with swollen glands this morning. As far as I know, swollen glands indicate an infection... please G-d, spare me an infection, I didn't deserve one and I really don't need it at this moment.
SUMMARY
More good news than bad. I'm glad I'm one of those people who see the donut, not the hole. |
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[Sep. 3rd, 2005|12:49 pm] |
It's right there, under my lip... hell yeah
My parents left this morning for vacation in Croatia. It's just for three days, but that's three-days-WITHOUT-my-parents and it's better than nothing. Usually I'd grin broadly at that thought, but please excuse me this time - I still can't move my lips, the piercing hurts too much. I also realized that brushing my teeth takes a hell of an effort, because I have to hold my lower lip and pull it down while brushing. Hopefully the wound will heal soon, so I can lead a normal life as a normal wannabe goth.
What am I going to do now that I have the whole apartment for myself? Uhhh, I promised my friends to throw a movie night with pop-corn and booze (alas, I mustn't touch either, salt and alcohol slow down the healing process). I'm not sure what movies I'm going to rent, the majority has the last word here. We watched The Grudge (japanese version) the other time and let me tell you something - do NOT, under any circumstances watch a horror movie at 2am when you know you'll be alone later... alone in a cold bed... with monsters beneath it... and squeaking doors... and rattling window shades. Just don't. You know you're a sissy so don't act like a hero.
Other than that, I'll stay up as long as I want to (now that my mom ain't home she can't bitch about me being online past midnight, yay) and finally fall into the yankee timezone of my RPG friends. Also, I'll get to chat with Jude, he's usually online at unearthly hours. I hope he fixed that internet access problem, if not.... meh... I'm so crazy about Jude. I'm so silly.
Right, now that my parents are like 400km far away, I can finally fool around with my Wicca spells. They're fun and very rewarding if you follow a pagan path. Also, I love candles, incense and elements that I use for rituals and spells. I read somewhere that if you want to make a ritual really special, you ought to get a gown that you only wear during the ritual - that way it has a special purpose and enhances the results you wish for. Hah, absolutely! So I googled for a medieval-ish dress and found THIS - CLICK!
I love it! But my mom would probably freak out if I walked around dressed in a medieval goth gown, chanting something and wielding an incense stick around like a wand. The mere thought makes me laugh really hard! |
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[Sep. 1st, 2005|06:36 pm] |
Second day as a pierced wannabe goth:
IT HURTS. Yeah, it feels like someone punched me in the face. HARD. It's a bit swollen and the piercing feels kind of too tight, but the worst has yet to come, apparently, the swelling is worst 5-7 days after you had the piercing done.
I can only eat fluid food like soup or chocolate flakes in milk. Ice cubes and ice cream are supposed to help reduce the swelling, but the first has to be eaten with a spoon (which I couldn't fit into my mouth right now if my life depended on it) and the latter is too big and too chilly.
I can't smile. Yeah, you read it right... it hurts to smile and people around me keep using that to their own amusement - they'd say something funny or retarded and watch me half laugh - half moan and cringe in pain. How amusing.
The worst part of my new piercing isn't really the piercing itself. It's how my mom can't accept it no matter what. She's always been against it, but hey I thought she'd just get used to it. Well, I was wrong.
"Why did you pay them to make you look ugly?!"
"I can't believe you did it!"
"Don't you respect me at all?!"
"Don't you ever call me 'mom' again, you're not my daughter anymore!"
That pretty much sums up what I get to hear from her 24/7. I feel really bad about it, because she seems to be hurt by what I did. I wish I could make her realize that I still love and respect her and that the piercing has absolutely nothing to do with her. Until that moment, I'll just work my ass off with chores and being a good-girl to calm her down a bit.
Anyway, I'm going to sell some school books tomorrow. That's a tradition here, when you finish high school you gather in front of the school on September 1 - September 3 to sell your old books to the lower grades who need them. I'm looking forward to seeing some friends again and it will take my mind off that problem with my mom. |
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[Aug. 31st, 2005|07:45 pm] |
Here's the drama queen again... OH-MY-GAWD... I had my lip pierced today.
The whole story -->
Sara and I met in town for a drink, to exchange a few supporting words and prepare mentally for the big slaughtering. Anyway, we missed the bus, so we had to wait for the next one which is why we arrived so late in the piercing parlor. We lounged a while in the waiting room, when suddenly the door opens and a pierced and stoned face of a 30+ woman pops out and asks if we're the gals who want to get their lips pierced. Absolutely, ma'am. So we enter a small room with two desks, one for the piercer woman and the other for the tattoo artist, who, at that time, was busy tattooing some blonde lass. The piercer woman starts explaining how to take care of a piercing, the possible consequences, asks us what kind of ball/hoop/stud we want, etc, etc, etc.... I swear, she talked for at least an hour, it made me want to yell at her - "Shut the fuck up and just pierce my fucking lip!" So finally she takes me into a backroom with psychotically painted walls and asks me to sit down and relax. She gives me some blue mouthwash, which I hold in my mouth for 30 seconds and spit back in the glass. Then she sprays the left side of my lip with some stuff that makes my tongue and lip totally numb! That was the best feeling ever, I tell you! Afterwards she marks a little spot, uses some scissor-looking clamps to grab my lip and tells me she's gonna insert the needle. I swear I saw a flashback of my life before my eyes that very moment! But sweet Jesus, it only hurt a second, a sharp burning pain, but only a motherfucking second! I think I was mumbling and drooling at her while she screwed the ball on a little plastic stick. When she finished with me she did the same with Sara, gave us some liquid to clean the wound with every day and cashed in.
It did burn alot like an hour after I had it pierced, but it's quite bearable now. No swelling, nothing. I'm really looking forward to replacing this ball piercing with a hoop! Oh yeah! |
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[Aug. 29th, 2005|12:08 pm] |
I can't wait any longer, so I'm getting the lip piercing done this Wednesday (in 2 days). Sara and I are like SO excited, but I'm also scared shitless! I'm constantly shaking and mumbling something and browsing piercing forums in the internet to see what the procedure of getting your lip pierced is like.
I was gonna wait for my parents to leave for vacation until I get it done, but hey - they're going to find out sooner or later anyway. So why not this Wednesday, why the fuck not??
I'm so fucking scared, oh man, I'm the biggest sissy in the world....
P.S.: S.G. is coming home this week, finally! At least someone who will comfort me. |
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[Aug. 27th, 2005|12:35 pm] |
Does anyone here listen to And Also The Trees? It seems they're one of those underground bands no one's ever heard of! Well, I was so lucky to spot one of their songs on Radio Nosferatu and ever since that, I've been like their greatest fan. It's hard to describe what kind of music they play... it's pretty much the music that sets the mood in most movies, dreamy, surreal, morbid. Well, let me quote someone else's description...
"Except for a few mega-bands, AATT is one of the last surviving bands from the post-punk wave. Up to now they've celebrated their songs in a dark, conjuring, romantic way that the new-existentialists and The Cure, Echo & The Bunnymen and Joy Division's old fans have been painfully missing on the current music scene. Tunes that make reality disappear and let you sink down in daydreaming and melancholy. Those who can sit alone with the sole company of their shadow, and still feel joy and hope and be content, will find an everlasting friend in AATT. A mournful, distressed and depressing feeling trades places with luminous, enthusiastic pieces.
I suggest you download (psssh, not supporting illegal business, but still..) the songs Pear Tree, Mermen Of The Lea, Ill Omen, The Nobody's Inn, Scarlet Arch and Blue Runner for a start ;) |
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[Aug. 25th, 2005|11:44 pm] |
I haven't seen your face yet, have I? (pencils)
I drove today! Can you believe it? I've had my license for... hmm... about 9 months, but since I don't have a car I can't practice driving so I pretty much suck at it (not to mention parking, oh gawd). I drove with mom and dad to the mall to find a PC for my apartment. We're looking for something really cheap, you know, as long as I can use MS Word and have internet I won't bitch. After all, I have a PC at home as well. Damn, I feel like I'm leeching off my parents. It's like they're trying to tell me "Look, we're spending all the money we have and more on you, so you'd better be the best at Uni!" I'll try, what can I say...
I talked to my cousin Almir again. He lives in Kentucky so I ain't seen him in ages (like, 16 years or so). Since I can't speak Bosnian well we just chat in English. I persuaded him to download MSN and we chatted there for about an hour, I also turned on the webcam for him so he could see me and my parents. My mom was so enthusiastic about the webcam that I couldn't drag her away no matter what, ugh. Anyway, he's such a cool guy, I really want to see him again soon. He said I could just transfer Uni and move to USA, and you know what? I fucking love that idea. Just get me out of Slovenia, puh-lease! |
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[Aug. 23rd, 2005|07:23 pm] |
Just a character drawing for someone in our Vampire: The Requiem game (sorry for bad scan) |
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